What Really Matters

It's been a few days since my last post. I haven't had a photo session since Mother's Day, and I'm itching to do one. I've mostly been working on marketing materials that I needed to have ready for the Nygard event as well as a list of items for what needs to get done in order to launch the Red Alchemy website... and of course, hanging out with Ms. Maddi Boo!

I am loving every minute of being a mama; and if I didn't have to make money, I'd say forget about the business. I'll do that when she's off to school, I'll just take pictures for the fun of it. I love reading up on various ways of parenting, then taking what resonates with me and trying it out on Maddi. One blog that has influenced me a lot is Hands Free Mama. The writings of Rachel Stafford has impacted me and changed me in ways that I will owe having less or no regrets about my motherhood journey to her. Thanks to her blog posts, I am regularly reminded to keep myself present with Maddi in our highly distracted world today as well as given ideas for various ways I can grab hold of what really matters in my life. The other day, I came across another great read, an article by another mama about letting your child learn and figure things out on their own instead of rushing to their rescue all the time.

The weekend when Sean's dad was in town, we took Maddi to the playground beside our building. She learned to come down a slide at another playground the day before but this slide had a steep hill to climb instead of steps. So we helped her up the hill, then helped her get up onto the platform and she would slide down on her own. Last Friday, after reading that article, I decided to not help her up the hill or get up onto the platform. Instead, I encouraged her to get to the top on her own. I coached her and suggested that she can crawl up... and she did! I was so proud! She crawled up to the top, and with a little more encouragement, she also climbed up on top of the platform, then she slid down the slide all on her own. After a few rounds of that, I encouraged her to try walking up the hill and coached her to keep her body forward. I held her hand up the hill on the first try, then let her do it on her own after. She did; slowly but surely, she got to the top! Each time she walked up that hill, she got more stable and got to the top quicker. I had a proud mama moment.

Yesterday, we were at the playground under the bridge, not far from our house. There's a set of slides there where one of the steps is a bit higher than the other ones, but it had a bar that you can step on to get up. She used to ask for a boost up when she got to that step. Yesterday, instead of giving her a boost up, I showed her how to step on the bar to push herself up. I wish I can show you the look on her face when she managed to do it all by herself! She was so proud, so happy! I'd like to think she appreciates being equipped to be independent. Another proud mama moment.

With all this growing, a part of me wanted to slow down time which seems to be fleeting away. I remember night after night thinking I'm wasting so much time just sitting beside her crib, holding her hand until she fell asleep when we were sleep training. But I read somewhere (quite possibly one of the Hands Free Mama's posts) to try and cherish those moments, because nothing about children lasts forever. It will be the last time they ask to hold your hand to sleep and you won't know it until the next time you offer to hold their hand to sleep and they don't need it anymore. Sure enough, that time came. Although I'm glad not to have to sit for 30 minutes to an hour each night, I miss holding her hand as she drifts off to dreamland.

I also miss sleeping with her beside me, but she sleeps better in her crib - 10 to 12 hours overnight compared to about 8 hours if she sleeps with me. Maybe, when she gets older she'll sleep in our bed once in a while... as a treat - I'm sure it'll be as much for me as it is for her.

Tonight, I tried to cuddle her to sleep. She was getting sleepy in my arms, but it was getting late and she wasn't falling asleep... so I put her down in her crib and she fell asleep within a minute. I was glad to have enjoyed a few minutes of holding her and singing a couple of rounds of "Over the Rainbow" to her. I used to sing her to sleep with that song, maybe I can work a cuddle and a song into our bedtime routine before I put her down in her crib. I know I'll be singing that song for many more years to come.

There are videos I wanted to upload, but can't seem to upload them successfully. Perhaps the files are too large. So here are some photos instead, although they don't quite show how amazing it was to see Maddi learn to do these things on her own.