Birthday Wishes

It's been over a month since my last post... I've been busy! After going through a bit of a funk, I got off my butt and booked photo sessions. I've had 3 over the last 3 weeks and have been very happy about the images I got out of them.

July is a busy month, our weekends were pretty much booked since early June - camping on the first weekend, my birthday party on the 2nd weekend, a themed photo session with 2 adorable girls and the annual lantern festival on the 3rd weekend, and a possible local trip on the last weekend. Maddi's music classes also started in July - loving our Granville Island mornings twice a week! Slowly, I'm finding a schedule to anchor me so life doesn't seem so random and chaotic. The artist in me loves having the freedom and not being tied to a schedule; but too much of that makes the OC side of me freak out a bit and crave for some order and predictability.

For once in my life, I didn't anticipate my birthday. It wasn't a big deal. It didn't feel important - in a good way. I think I have other priorities in my life now and having Maddi has taught me to focus less on myself. I still believe in taking every opportunity to celebrate... so I still sought to make it a special day.

I spent my first couple of hours having some alone time with Maddi as I nursed her and have a quick breakfast together before we headed off to her music class on Granville Island. The morning started on schedule; then just as Maddi and I were leaving to catch the Aquabus to Granville Island, she chucks a water glass on the floor and it shatters into pieces. I strap her into the stroller so as to avoid her getting into the glass bits, sweep up the bigger pieces of glass, get stuff off the floor and run Irona (our robot vacuum) so she can pick up the rest of the smaller bits while we're out... then boot it to the Aquabus station. Get there, wait for the Cyquabus that can take the stroller without getting Maddi out and folding it up, get on and wait some more while it waits for slow walking tourists, make another stop then get to Granville Island. It's amazing how a 15 minute delay can derail an otherwise promisingly amazing day. I thought it was crazy that it affected me so much, so I decided to reset and get happy. Thank God for the ability to make that decision... coz the rest of the day was amazing!

Despite being late, we had a great class. After, we met up for lunch with a few friends - thanks Anne & baby Marcus, Crystal & baby in the belly, Stephen & Katie & baby Leanne, and Amy for the food truck lunch in the sunshine. Enjoyed some alone time while Maddi napped, reading all of the wonderful FB greetings. Shortly after Maddi woke up from her nap, we got a nice visit from our friend and neighbour Anna, who biked all the way from their gelateria in Coal Harbour with her two kids in tow to deliver a litre of her husband James' award winning gelato! Ended the day with a nice and tasty dinner at Homer St. Cafe, where Maddi learned to go up stairs upright (not crawling), unassisted... and then dug into the gelato after Maddi went to bed.

My day today was in fact not much different than any ordinary day... but I got to be with special people I love and enjoy the company of. Yes, I got showered with abundant FB greetings (120 of them at the moment), flowers, cards, lunch, treats, dinner, and gelato! Yet what I enjoyed most was the people I spent today with - people I had just met at the music class, and friends whose company I've enjoyed for years... people who took time and energy to celebrate my birthday with me, people who took time and energy to send a greeting - over FB, email, text or a phone call! As a lifelong student, I also loved that today presented me with a lesson to learn - deciding to get happy when it would've been easier (albeit more miserable) to give in to my emotions (and I'm a very emotional person) and let the small hiccup in the morning ruin my day.

As I close out today with 5 minutes left on my birthday, here's what I've learned as I turn 38 (and Maddi's been a great teacher, among many others) - as cheesy as it sounds, the meaning of life is LOVE; it is all about the connections we make. Life is also about continuously learning & growing. A lot of things get better just with a change of perspective. The key to happiness is to always count one's blessings, see the good, and find enjoyment in the simple things.

My birthday wishes - that I may make many more friends, learn to connect at a heart and soul level and somehow maintain the connections no matter where in the world life takes us; that I may learn to get happy easily when my emotions try to run over me and threaten to ruin my day; that I may always be happy because I always see what's good; that I may always find what's amazing and beautiful in the most simple of things and moments.

Namaste.

Maddi, Marcus & Aida (a friend Maddi just made during lunch)
playing while we enjoy our food truck lunch from Feastro.

My birthday dinner with Sean and Maddi at Homer St. Cafe

The best birthday present I could ever ask for!

What I've been showered with...

A litre of Bella Gelateria's old-world handcrafted gelato.
3 flavours to savour every last bite of - salted caramel, buko pandan & hazelnut.

This is how this birthday girl is ending her day...
with a spoon in one hand, ate gelato straight out of the box! =)

Patience, Perseverance and Drive

It's been a couple of weeks of late nights for me now... I feel like I've got too much on the brain and it's keeping me up! I started out with a lot of excitement from watching the Sue Bryce workshop videos that got me on a high for about a week... then the tiredness set in and rendered me unproductive during my work hours (every night after Maddi goes to bed).

I probably still would have been able to keep watching the videos even if I was tired, but I couldn't continue with them because I haven't done any of the daily challenges. I felt like I couldn't keep going unless I take some action. To add to that, I got word from my designer on the progress of my website design and construction. It reminded me that I need to get going with collecting images to fill my website with, not to mention text for various sections.

Like many artists, I am my worst critic. I look through all the photos I've taken recently and I feel like I don't have any that I want on my site. I need better images. Don't get me wrong, there are many that I've taken which I like... I am just being super critical of my own work and I see all the things I would do differently - I guess that's what happens when you keep evolving and growing in your craft. So, the only way to solve this is to go out and create images that I will be a hundred percent happy to put up on my website.

On Saturday, when I saw that the forecast for Sunday said no rain, I scheduled a last minute portfolio session with my dear friend, Anne... so glad she was available at such short notice and happy to help. For this session, I decided to go on location in beautiful Gastown. I just love the character in the area; the characters that roam it, not so much - haha! My trusty assistant Neil was available and ready, too... making the trek all the way from Cloverdale - thanks so much for coming to help out!

Here are some of the images I got from the session... and I love them! Let me know what you think?!

And now, to sort out my price list... and to organize my thoughts and put them down on paper for a business plan! I knew starting a business is a lot of work, but realizing now just how much! Everything seems to take a lot longer than I anticipated, too! A lot of times, when I set out to do something, I discover something else that needs to get done. So far though, although it is a lot of work... it is work I am happy to do and I am learning a lot. Patience, perseverance & drive... please don't run out on me, I can't wait to see where you'll take me!

p.s. a mommy sidenote - Maddi took her first unassisted steps and started walking last Thursday, just 2 days shy of turning 17 months! It was a mix of feeling "OMG, she's growing up way too fast!" and a sense of mama pride on her milestone accomplishment.

Enthusiastically Yours, Red Alchemy

In my humble experience of the last 16 months, life as a mama is demanding. It's not rocket science, any person with a good head on their shoulders could do a good job. However, it is a constant relegation of your needs and agenda to the 2nd tier (or 3rd, or 4th...). Time to yourself or to chores and other things you need to get done is usually scarce and a lot of the time, unpredictable. When you finally get those golden opportunities, sometimes you need it to recoup and rest instead of tackle the items that have been lingering on your to-do lists. When I try to do something while Maddi is not napping, what used to take 15 minutes now takes 45 minutes or longer. There is no "dashing out for a bit;" a lot of the time, getting out of the house means changing a diaper, packing food, bundling her up and securing her in the carrier or the stroller. That would take at least 10 minutes before I can even step out of the door. And if I have to drive, add another 10 minutes. Having been the kind of person that had multiple things on the go, validated by every time I crossed an item on my to-do lists (which I used to make and update on a daily basis)... this was something I had to get used to. It has definitely been frustrating at times, but it has also taught me to slow down.

Although I didn't go back to work after maternity leave, I have been preparing to launch my photography business. There is a lot of work to be done when starting a business; at least, if you want to build properly. Without the luxury of long periods of uninterrupted time, everything takes a lot longer and requires better organization. I know I am leaving a lot of loose ends, I need to get my butt in gear and get organized! I'm not complaining, I LOVE my time with my babe and it's a compromise I'm willing to make. Although I'm not able to devote full days to this endeavor, I sometimes get 2-3 hour stretches during the day while Maddi naps, and usually another 2-3 hours after her bedtime.

Last night was the 3rd night in a row that I stayed up till 3~3.30am. Apparently, it was a full moon on the first night and a full moon affects sleep (who knew?)... I guess the last two nights were after effects?

The good thing is, I spent that awake time productively. I watched all the videos from a Sue Bryce workshop that I purchased last year, and my brain just couldn't stop working, thinking about products and services that I want to offer, conjuring up the value that I want to provide my clients, and just overall big picture stuff.

All that brainstorming and planning has gotten me soooo pumped and excited! Can't wait to see what they all result to!

Embarking on an entrepreneurship journey isn't just about learning to sell and market... a host of personal growth also comes with it. The way I think about a lot of things need to change. I knew that from before, but now I am starting to really know! I'm equally nervous and excited!

There are a lot of things to learn, but Sue Bryce said that if you are enthusiastic about your business and what it is that you do, you will attract people. They will just naturally be drawn to your energy, they would want what you have. She also challenged her students to do one thing everyday to market and promote their business. Since the day I decided to go into business and not put Maddi in daycare, I wanted to make sure Maddi's socialization is not compromised.... which means I have to be sociable myself. I have been talking up strangers on the street, at the cafe, in the elevator, at the play time we go to and yes, even in the parents' room at the mall! But since the day that I got my business cards, I have been putting myself out there and giving them out, telling people about what I do. It definitely takes me out of my comfort zone a bit, but it does get easier the more I do it. And surprisingly, I haven't had a rejection yet! Everyone has been receptive; encouraging and excited for me at best, and at the very least, they take my card. I hope they don't bin it after they've walked a few steps away from me! I don't think so, my cards are gorgeous! =)

So far, the key to maintaining this enthusiasm has been the time I spent dreaming up big picture stuff about my business, breaking it down into small steps and planning the details, and TAKING ACTION! The first one is essential in order to know where to navigate, the second one keeps your goals attainable and lastly, taking action and achieving goals will feed your self-confidence and keep you going and growing!

Something eerie in a good, "The Secret" kind of way happened to me the past couple of days. It's too soon to share, I don't want to jinx it... but I promise to share when things play out, it'll be a better story to tell =)

With all that said, I hope tonight's sleep comes a lot earlier than 3.30 in the morning!

Blame It On The Genius

Amidst a low and dark time in my life, I happened upon my passion for photography. Almost six years later, I find myself making the nerve-racking leap to not only pursue a career as an artist, but to also forgo the securities of a job and venturing into the world of entrepreneurship.

Some people are really creative, their process almost paranormal. Some people are really smart and have a good hold on how to tread through the rest of their lives. I am neither.

I once took a left-brain vs right-brain test and I registered as 47% left-brained and 53% right-brained. A bit of a right brain dominance, but not by much at all... I would say the test is bang on. Being almost as logical, realistic and analytical as I am creative, fantastical and free-spirited has definitely been a blessing at times; yet it has also been a source of much frustration. It often leaves me feeling like I may be good at many things but not excellent at any one thing.

I have gotten so much support and encouragement from family and friends, even strangers. Yet some days, I am just ridden with self doubt. I know the saying "I am my own worst critic" way too well. The voices in my head can really put a damper on my confidence.

For years, I have let these frustrations and insecurities hold me back from taking the plunge. A full time job, school and the general busy-ness of life competed for time and energy. Fear of failure paralyzed me and what seemed like an irresponsible decision of possibly putting our finances in jeopardy by becoming self-employed laid on the guilt for pursuing my dreams.

Becoming pregnant a couple of years ago was great news in more ways than just the obvious. Right away, I thought that being on maternity leave would be my opportunity to plan for a career switch. However, nine months into the leave, I haven't done anything. I can't believe I was actually considering going back to work! Somehow, that just felt wrong.

I may be really late at starting what I should have months ago, but there really was no other choice... not if I were to be true to myself, and be able to look Maddi in the eye when one day, I tell her to follow her dreams because she can do whatever she sets her mind to.

Taking this leap definitely makes me tremendously excited, but I'm also scared shitless! So how to cope with the negative chatter in my head and the pressure?

I heard Elizabeth Gilbert on a TED Talk shortly after her worldwide bestselling book Eat, Pray, Love came out and propelled her onto the world stage. She shared that prior to the renaissance, people believed that artists had geniuses that lived within their studios and collaborated with them to produce their art.

It is not the most scientific approach for the 21st century, but it does create that safe distance which protects the artist. Artists were protected from an inflated ego because they can't take full credit for brilliant work, since everybody knew they had the help of a genius. On the other hand, producing crappy work wasn't entirely their fault either because everybody knew their genius was a bit lame.

I need to keep reminding myself that I just need to keep showing up for my part of the job. I know it'll take time before my craft catches up to my taste. Until then, just blame it on the genius and keep giving it everything I've got.

‘Ole!’ to you, just for having the sheer human love and stubbornness to keep showing up.”
- Elizabeth Gilbert